Confusion...

Let me ask you. Have you ever been fanatical about something? Have you ever found yourself laughing, crying, or screaming for something or someone who you haven't even met? Ever had your emotions swing on a particular event or situation where you had no control of the outcome?

If so, you've probably experienced this strange phenomenon called confusion. Now, this sucker can come in many shapes and sizes. It's packaged like the old "ob" (in disguise)... what looks like a nice little present can suddenly be something else. Yes, confusing I know.

My confusion of late revolves around the swinging door of Leeds United F.C. For those who have no idea who the heck Leeds is... shame on you! If I threw out names such as Man United, Chelsea, Arsenal, or Liverpool most of you would guess that I was referring to an English football team. However, in knowing me, you would know that teams are not just teams... it's a way of life. In Europe, teams somehow find a way of choosing you. Kind of like how Bumble Bee picks Sam in Transformers.

Anyway, I was introduced to "The Whites" while in Scotland in 2000. At the time, Leeds embodied everything I believed in... they were young, passionate, fierce, unafraid, and loyal. Over the last 5 years or so, the team has gone from the highest achievement in European soccer to the most shameful feats of English lore. It's a horrific story. From elation to heartache. Heartache to frustration. Frustration to... you guessed it... confusion. In the spirit of my young niece Catherine... "What happened?" Over the last month, no one has known if Leeds would even survive as a football club. It looked as if the doors at Elland Road would be forever closed.

But, in the spirit of Leeds United, the club has dug to the depths of itself and found a passion to live... to breathe, to thrive, to try! I still don't understand so much of what has happened, but what I do know is that I bleed Leeds. And if you're a fan of such a thing... you understand what this means. You know that sometimes you have to visit the deep places and in the process find yourself again.

So, next time you're watching Survivor and ask yourself how could this happen... remember that confusion is a chance to look inside and find yourself all over again. Perhaps this will take place when watching the Dawgs settle for yet another field goal. Or maybe this will take place when you can't quite figure out how Jack is going to get out of the mess he's in. Maybe it's closer to home for you. Maybe it's a best friend who's disengaged... for no apparent reason. Or a life decision that is growing more and more confusing as the deadline approaches.

This goes out to all of us who are desperately seeking the depths of life and finding ourselves in unknown confusing places. May our confusion show us the way home. "Marching on together."